Fall Fancies

This time of year seems to hold so much possibility… a new school year, football season and before we know it, the holidays will be here – yikes!

I started making a list of things I love most about Fall…

• Scarves
• Cozy meals from the crock pot
• Football (Wisconsin Badgers, Green Bay Packers and New England Patriots!)
• Boots & Blazers
• Returning to red wine. (Thank you Kim Crawford Sauvignon Blanc for spending the summer with me!)
• Pumpkin Farms
• Apple Crisp
• A more relaxed pace (I feel pressure to fit in A LOT during the summer – travel, alfresco drinks & dining, running & bike rides, concerts, beaches & boating, grilling, etc. I’ll miss these things, but not the pressure to do all of them, all the time.)
• Seeing more movies and award season
• Fabrics like tweed and herringbone
• The Pumpkin Spice Latte at Starbucks – it’s back!
• Fingerless gloves
• Fresh air and no more A/C!
• Soup (I’ve missed soup. It’s too hot to eat it in the summer.)

What have I missed?

I hope you had a fabulous summer and have much to look forward to this Fall!

Accept and Do – Thoughts on Goal Achievement

I’ve had a couple conversations with friends, family and colleagues lately about achieving goals – both personal and professional – and it surprised me how lost and frustrated many seemed to feel. I was also surprised at how often I heard a sense of entitlement and helplessness in their comments. I’m no motivational speaker or personal coach, but there are a few things I try to Accept and Do in my life in order to achieve my goals; hopefully they will help you get closer to yours…

Things to Accept

1. The world doesn’t owe you anything. This is hard to accept. As innately self-interested, selfish humans many of us feel that at some level, the universe, society, our family or other groups owe us a shot at our dreams. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but they don’t. They can certainly help and support us, but we are not entitled to a red carpet leading to personal or professional success.
2. It (whatever ‘it’ is) will be hard. Another difficult thing to accept. Hard stuff takes effort; wouldn’t it be great if love, success, wealth and other wonderful things just fell into our laps? Anything that brings you true joy is worth working hard for, and unfortunately, you’re going to have to work hard for it. When you achieve it, use that feeling of gratitude and accomplishment as motivation for tackling the next goal.
3. You will fail and it will suck. Serial entrepreneurs seem to understand this better than anyone and I applaud them for it. Failing feels terrible and often has a lasting negative impact on our self-esteem. It’s so hard to pick yourself up after you fail – but you have to – and you’ll likely be pleasantly surprised by how much you learned from your failure. Those lessons can serve as motivation for doing ‘it’ better next time.
4. Your limitations. We all wish we were better, smarter, stronger, faster, etc. It’s natural to want to improve yourself, but often, significant improvement comes when you accept and like yourself for who you are, regardless of things you have or have not achieved. This isn’t an excuse not to try, but at some point, we need to cut ourselves some slack.

Things to Do  

1. Stop complaining and making excuses. Right now. Why? Because it’s self-defeating – we believe what we tell ourselves and if we’re constantly listing all the reasons why we can’t do something, then that will likely become reality. Additionally, it doesn’t make others want to help you, and I can’t remember the last time I achieved something without help.
2. Surround yourself with people you respect and admire. The people you choose to interact with have a direct and profound effect on your level of motivation and access to opportunity. Spend time with people who are achieving goals themselves and allow them to inspire you.
3. Share your goals with your network. Those high-achieving, inspirational folks mentioned above can’t help you if they don’t know what your goals are. Regularly share your goals and dreams, as well as your progress toward them, with a group of trusted friends and colleagues. You may be pleasantly surprised by how many offers of help and support you receive.
4. Ask for help; then actually use it. I’m often asked to keep my eyes open for job opportunities for other marketers and people in my network. I’m continually amazed (and truthfully, a little disappointed) at how rarely the opportunities I send are followed up on. Asking for help isn’t enough – you actually have to act on the help that’s provided to you. The assistance you’re given will not always be stellar, or even relevant, but you can’t sit back and congratulate yourself for simply asking; it won’t get you any closer to your goal.
5. Repeat. You achieved a goal – great! Got any others? Think of goal achievement as a process, not a destination. And remember to give back – you can be one of those high-achieving, inspirational people for others.

Like I said, I’m no motivational speaker or life coach, but I do actively think about these things in my life and I’ve found them helpful. I think much of it comes from picking myself up from a failed marriage, working for a company that advises struggling (and often failing) companies and, frankly, great advice from my dad. I hope these remarks help readers Accept challenges and Do things that motivate and lead to success – however you define it.

Would love to hear Comments below…

Cozy Fall Chicken Soup Recipe

Random, I know, but I’m making this soup tonight and it’s so easy and yummy that I needed to share it. (Props to the lady at a Lutheran Church in Green Bay, WI. who put this in the church recipe book – although I’ve tried to class it up a little with some fresh ingredients!)

In a large pot, brown about 1 lb. of chicken (I use chicken breasts, but use what you like.) When almost cooked through, remove chicken and set aside.

In same pot, saute a couple cloves of garlic and a small onion, making sure to scrape the brown goodness from the bottom of the pan.

While the garlic and onion are cooking, shred the chicken. When shredded, add back to the pot.

Add 1 big can (or two 15 oz cans) of Cannellini beans.

Add 2 cups of chicken stock (you may need more than this.)

Add 1 jar of your favorite salsa (not the giant size, just a small jar.)

Chop and toss in about 1/4 cup of Parsley, or another fresh herb. And/or add a couple squeezes of fresh lemon juice.

Simmer for 20-30 mins. Serve with crusty french bread. Yum!

Hope you enjoy! I’ll be eating this tonight!

Now that’s Karma

I was in the security line at LaGuardia behind an older woman with a walker yesterday. (I can hear the groans already.) It was a fairly busy evening, many business travelers looking to get on earlier flights or perhaps late for the flights they’re on. Did I entertain the idea of changing lines? Sure, but she didn’t seem overly dependent on the walker and was moving through the line faster than I would have expected. As she starts loading her belongings onto the security belt, it becomes clear that it’s going to take her a while – a carry-on bag, shoulder bag, the walker, removing her jacket, bending down to remove her shoes – we all know the drill, but for someone who is older, and maybe doesn’t travel often, these aren’t easy things to do quickly and simultaneously.

Long story short, a “gentleman” asks if he can cut in front of her because he has a 5pm flight he’s trying to catch. There’s a lot of sighing from the line, and “well, I’m trying to go stand-by in 10 minutes,” blah, blah, blah. So, this guy goes in front of her and is off to the races. A few minutes later as I’m gathering my belongings, the woman behind me tells me I left my phone in one of the plastic bins – my heart jumps! I did? I thought it was in my purse? So I walk over to retrieve my phone while internally chastising myself for being so careless and it turns out it’s not mine – thank goodness! (It was one of those giant Android things that looks like a throw-back to the mobile phones of the early ‘90’s. No thanks.) As more and more people leave the security area, it becomes apparent that the owner of this phone is no longer around. Hmmm, I wonder who’s it is?

At this point, I’m sure you’ve deduced that the lovely gentleman, who couldn’t wait for an older lady using a walker to clear security, was in such a hurry that he left his phone. Ha! I wish I could have seen his face when he realized it.

Now that’s Karma.

I am your client. Do your job. That is all.

Did I miss the class in business school where they taught abdication of responsibility? How about placing blame? What were the finals like in those classes – never-ending excuses? Late deliverables? Mediocre service at a high price? Awesome, sign me up.

Here is a list of things I would never say/do to my client…

1. Waste their time – I feel like my time is valuable, therefore, I think it’s safe to assume that my client(s) feels the same way about their time. Do not waste my time. That is all.
2. Over-promise and under-deliver – if you can’t meet a deadline, tell me, rest assured I will understand. If you tell me you’re going to meet that deadline, then meet it. If something else is going on, pick up the phone. That is all.
3. Blame another vendor – I recently found myself in a situation where success could only be achieved if two vendors worked together, or at least provided their “part” of the deliverable as promised and on time. Blame does not move us any closer to a successful outcome – remove it from your vocabulary, take the initiative and play nice. That is all.
4. Make excuses – we all make mistakes, we’re human, heck, I make them all the time (well, not all the time…) The best way to “fix” a mistake: take responsibility and suggest a solution. That is all.

Admittedly, this is a rant, but in my defense, “Write a rant” is #14 on this list of 100 Sources of Blog Inspiration. I must have been inspired…

Why so much divorce in America?

In light of the recent split between Courtney Cox and David Arquette, (who I really liked btw) I wanted to try and get my brain around the “trend” of divorce in America… not only among celebrities (Brad and Jennifer, Sandra and Jesse, Tiger and Elin, etc.) but among average, every day couples as well.

According to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri, 50% percent of first marriages end in divorce. Why? (Just a FYI: that percentage goes up for 2^nd and 3^rd marriages.)

Theories I’ve heard:

• Americans no longer respect the institution of marriage and therefore are quicker to choose divorce.
• The institution of marriage is no longer relevant – it only made sense when people died at age 40.
• Humans are not meant to be monogamous.
• Americans have become increasingly short-sighted and pleasure-seeking – two things that make them incapable of “sticking it out” in a marriage.
• Men and women are innately difference species, with conflicting needs and capabilities. This natural contradiction is already one strike against marriage.
• It’s simply a demographic trend – many baby boomers stayed together for their children, but now that their children are out of the house, they’re getting divorced.

And I’m sure there are many others that I haven’t listed here. (Feel free to add your favorite theory in the comments section below.)

I, unfortunately, am a data point in that 50% and if I could do things over, I wouldn’t choose divorce, but I’m sure there many couples who feel the  opposite, yet we all ended up in the same place – so why do we put ourselves through this horribly emotional and expensive process? Furthermore, why do couples put so little value on their relationship that half of married couples are willing to scrap such significant time and emotional investment? Would love to hear your thoughts on this…

Joy and Resentment… a delicate balance for me lately.

I will be 31 years old next Friday, ugh. And I got divorced this year, double ugh. And four of my girlz, including my sister, are pregnant, quadruple ugh!

Not really, I’m incredibly happy for all of them, but I can’t help but throw myself a pity party sometimes.

2009 was probably the worst year of my life; my marriage ended along with some mutual friendships as a result, I graduated from grad school in the midst of the worst economy since the Great Depression, giving me even fewer job choices than I had before I went back to school, I gained weight, stopped sleeping well… and I guess that’s about it. But it was more than enough for me.

So, I can’t help but feel a little bit resentful of all the joyous egg fertilization going on around me. For three of these ladies, it’s their first child and we all know that women go CRAZY with the first one; they talk constantly about all the physiological elements of pregnancy, debate all the new trends in parenting, buy all the latest and greatest baby gear, (some of those strollers cost more than my car!) and are generally consumed by this new, huge life event. And who knows, maybe I’ll be the same way, if I ever get the opportunity to become fertilized that is, but right now, it’s tough for me to be around all that joy and excitement.

So, what do you do when your friends’ joy creates feelings of abandonment and inferiority in you? Is it a rational response? No. Is it selfish? Yes. Can you help it? No. Well, at least I can’t, perhaps some of you ladies are more evolved than me. This contradiction: joy, followed by sadness and resentment, must be a natural human response right? Anyone else out there feelin’ it? Gosh, I hope so, or I’m an even worse person than previously thought!

Would love to hear your thoughts on the strange balance between feeling happy for others, and a bit sorry for one-self. Contrary opinions are welcome, I’m not scuuuurd.  Please comment below.

Do Animals Create Value?

I had dinner with a couple friends last night and we got to talking about charities; what charities we’re involved in, why we chose them, etc. It turned into an interesting conversation that sparked some questions about value creation and if our charitable activities, or the charities themselves, created value. My friends wanted to know why, given a finite amount of resources, I chose to give time and money to a charity that helps animals instead of one that helps people, and thus creates societal and perhaps economic value. They couldn’t understand why, when I’m able to dedicate resources to any charity I want, I would choose a non-people one!  

Background: I’m incredibly passionate about animals, so I’m involved with PAWS Chicago, an organization that strives to eliminate the destruction of homeless pets in Chicago. They run a spay/neuter clinic to reduce the number of homeless pets in the city and pull thousands of homeless animals from Chicago Animal Care & Control (where, after a period of time, they will be euthanized) and bring them to their Adoption Center in hopes of finding them “forever homes.” They take in all breeds of dogs and cats and provide them with food, water, love and shelter when they’re literally, on their last legs.

I can understand my friends’ position and I think the following example illustrates their point well: let’s say I have X minutes of time in my life to dedicate to charitable activities and I choose to use that time to mentor a disadvantaged child. That child becomes a good student, graduates from high school, goes to college, gets a job and becomes a “contributing” member of society. Have I created economic value by donating time to that child? My friends think so.

Now let’s say I donate that same time to an animal related charity that helps find homes for homeless pets. If a homeless animal is nursed back to health and placed in a happy, loving home, have I created economic value? I don’t know?

Dogs and cats will never hold jobs, or pursue research that benefits society, so I guess this becomes a larger question, what value do animals bring to people’s lives that justifies large, not-for-profit organizations be built up around their care and survival?  

I love animals, I can’t help it. And the above conversation with my friends hasn’t deterred me from continuing to donate time and money to PAWS, but it did make me think, and um, write this blog post! I’d love to hear how you feel about it. Please comment below.

Learn more about PAWS at pawschicago.org.

The Journey to ‘There’

I was in a meeting this morning talking about clean data: email addresses, company names, lead sources, etc. and as my colleagues and I assessed how many hours our intern had spent cleaning this data, I mentioned to my boss that a clean database is a journey, not a destination.  Our hard-working intern could spend countless hours correcting email formats (is it first initial [dot] last name?) and ensuring we know who owns a lead, but we’ll never get ‘there.’  ‘There’ being the utopia of the clean marketing database where our delivery rate is 100% and our bounce rate is 0%.  One can only dream…

This got me thinking about ‘there.’  Where is ‘there’ for you?  Where is ‘there’ in your industry? In my current position (which is still fairly new) I’m striving for the following ‘theres:’

• Utilize the firm’s website as a depository for content and drive traffic to it – once we get ‘there’ our website visits and click-thru rates will skyrocket along with our leads via these channels!  Maybe…
• Establish brand guidelines related to, well, everything!  Once we get ‘there,’ our brand will appear so solidified that each practice area will stay consistent, our firm’s recognition in the marketplace will skyrocket and so will the number of RFPs we receive!   Possibly…
• Create processes for inter-departmental communication – once we get ‘there’ we’ll be able to capitalize on countless over-lapping marketing and business development opportunities and firm billings will skyrocket!  Perhaps…

These results are meant to be humorous but sometimes I’m so darn focused on the destination that I forget that the journey can provide countless learning and goal-assessment opportunities.  Who knows if the outcomes I mention above will actually happen, and if they don’t, has my entire journey been in vain? Let’s hope not.  It’s just as important to keep an eye on the path you’re taking as continuing to look for the destination itself.  It’s also critical to remember that not everyone proceeds along the path at the same rate, so sensitivity to others’ speed is necessary.

I would love to hear about your journeys to ‘there,’ feel free to comment below.